Emergency Room Scare

My heart was beating so fast. I yelled to my husband to call 911. In a matter of seconds, Jack went from enjoying an apple to choking on it. I immediately grabbed him and leaned him over, patted his back so he can vomit it out.  At this point he was crying, gagging and every couple of minutes gasping for  air. The paramedics arrived, my heart slowed down a bit knowing help had arrived, Jack however started to scream in fear with all these strangers trying to touch him. Even though he was no longer choking it did seem to me,  a piece of apple was still lodged in his throat. His face was red, his eyes blood shot red, he was still gagging and pointing with his tiny index finger inside his mouth to tell me something was still there. The paramedics reassured me he was fine because he was crying but still wanted to take him to the hospital just in case. I went inside the ambulance with him as many of our worried neighbours looked on in shock and offered to babysit our older two boys.  In the ambulance, Jack sat on my lap looking quietly around in amazement until he started to vomit. The vomit was clear and mucusy and no sign of any apples. Inside the hospital the nurse checked his pulse as the nice paramedic gave Jack a teddy bear.  She asest the situation as minor and moved us to one of the Emergency rooms. Seconds later my husband arrived and Jack couldn't be happier. Although he was calm and active  he still wasn't himself, face and eyes were still red, tiny dots covered his chest and back, and he continued to gag every couple of minutes and still pointed inside his mouth. The doctor came and reassured George and myself that he probably swallowed the apple and it was mucus from all the crying that was making him gag, he suggested to go home and give him a bottle of milk.  Neither my husband nor I were convinced he was out of the woods. I thought something was still there and if he continued to gag the apple might move and get further lodged in his throat. The doctor looked in his mouth and stated that when a child is choking 99.9 % of the time, their reflexes (eg. gagging and coughing) will remove the object .  As we pulled in the driveway to pick up our older boys, who'd been crying and praying for their baby brother, Jack started to gag and vomit once again but this time voila ... the piece of apple! Almost immediately his red face and eyes, tiny dot covered chest and back returned to normal.  I now felt confident my baby was fine. Thank you God and your angels for looking after my little angel!

Tough questions

I've recently been buying chicken in bulk directly from the wholesaler. This way it's fresher, I save tons of money,  and I save kitchen prep  time by buying only fresh boneless and skinless breasts and fillets.  

Anyhow as I sat in the van with Eric and a sleeping Jack waiting for my husband George who went inside to buy the chicken  when Eric started to ask questions. "How do they kill the chickens mommy?". Wow was I ever speechless. I ended up telling him they give the chickens special medicine (stupid thing to say....considering he already hates taking any type of medicine.... now he's probably worried it will kill him). He accepted the answer and went back to playing his Nintendo DS. I however continued to think about his question and wondered what other questions was I going to get next.  It somehow didn't feel like lying, just like Santa or the Tooth Fairy but felt wrong nonetheless.

All I'm saying is that it's so hard trying to keep innocence and magic in my children's lives as I try and explain the dangers of the world and how they should never talk to strangers because bad people who can potentially hurt them exist.  

Germ take over

As I sipped my wine and immersed my body deeper into the hot water filled tub, I finally felt peace, comfort and relaxation. I was proud. I have gotten through the longest and smelliest week of my life.  I felt challenged this week and although I felt so many moments  wanting to give up, I couldn't. I knew there was nobody else that was going to do it, I had to. I had to take care and  comfort all three of my children while all of us where sick with the stomach flu. The worst was watching them suffer. It broke my heart to feel so helpless. My husband and I had the worse symptoms for about 48hrs but still took a good week to get back to normal. Alexanders worst symptoms lasted for about 72 hrs but Jack and Eric were sick for a week. I often worried about them getting dehydrated. Jack at least drank the electrolytes but Eric was impossible to convince.  I easily did 30 loads of laundry. Everything and everybody got puked on including the babies car seat and the van.  Once everyone got to normal the real cleaning began. The carpets were shampooed, walls were scrubbed, mattresses were cleaned, 2 bottles of Lysol were used. Thank God it's over and I hope none of you get it. The only good things that came of of this is I lost a few pounds (and made up for rather quickly) and I did get a head start on spring cleaning.

Things I miss about my life before kids

Sure I love my life as a mommy and my children but I can't lie and say there aren't things I don't miss about my life before them. Here are some:

SLEEPING - Oh how I miss sleep. I have always loved to sleep and barely remember the times when sleeping 8-10 hours (in a row!) a night  was the norm. I'd be lucky to get that in 2 or 3 nights these days. Is it a wonder that I'm more bitchy these days.

EATING OUT - I use to eat out at restaurants on a daily basis. You know the ones that have white fabric tablecloths and wine glasses are already pre-set on tables. We still occasionally go out to dinner or lunch with the kids but it's not quite the same.  We stick to family-friendly restaurants that usually have paper for the kids to draw on instead of tablecloths. Usually eat really quickly before one of the kids starts getting antsy or cranky. Usually it's buffets so one of the kids don't start crying they don't like their food after waiting 20 + minutes for it. The hostesses almost always seats us in the back of the restaurant away from childless  patrons.   Eating out does give me a break from cooking but sometimes the effort of getting 3 kids out is such a pain that I'd rather just stay home and cook myself or do the drive-thru.

ROAD TRIPS - My husband and I use to be very spontaneous. A last minute decision to drive up north or leave the country was normal. We'd just leave and pick up a couple of toothbrushes on the way. We sometimes had no destination and just drive till we'd find some place that looked fun to stay. A day trip these days needs to be planned days before and enough packing you'd think we were leaving for a month. Not to mention a whole days worth of unpacking and laundry afterwards.

FREE TIME - Once upon a time I use to have lots of moments of boredom. I'm not sure what that words means these days but I do hear it often. It goes something like this .... "Mommy I'm booooored!".  I once had time for hobbies and a pedicure happened on a weekly basis now it needs to be planned months in advance and happens more like on a annual basis instead.

HAVING A SICK DAY - Not that I like being sick but these days calling in sick to work (for myself) means more work at home. I usually call in sick when my children are sick so really if I were to be sick, I'd be out of sick days anyways. Plus you can't call in sick from your kids so being sick does not mean less house work or child care. Most of the time when I'm sick, the kids and husband are sick too so it's more work taking care of them instead of myself. I wish I can take a "Benadryl Day". 

Although I miss those days sometimes, I wouldn't trade my current life for the world. After all no one said having children was easy....especially for a mom.

My Christmas Oath Revised

I posted my Christmas oath over a month ago. Here's how I did.

Even though I LOVE Christmas, I'm in Christmas denial every year up until a week or two into December.
Every year Christmas gets more and more stressful for me and every year I promise myself next year will be different.

Here I go again!

My Christmas Oath .....

1. I will not wait till the week of Christmas to START filling out Christmas cards. Send out a week before Christmas, so hopefully everyone gets them before Christmas for a change.

2. I will not wait till it's so close to Christmas that I'm fighting a parent for the LAST toy at the store my kid wants. Even though I tried to avoid this. A certain game my son wanted was nearly impossible to find. After searching forever at so many stores I came across the LAST one. There were UNHAPPY parents in line behind me.


3. I will get the kids to write a letter to Santa early enough to get a response BEFORE Christmas. Done! Even though my five year old insisted on e-mailing Santa this year. We got a response back but the kids weren't as excited since Santa sent a personalized video for them earlier.


4. I will get the kids Christmas photo done BEFORE Christmas so I can use them for the Christmas card. Actually got it done on Dec. 1 st so I was very happy with myself for this accomplishment.


5. I will not wait till the week of Christmas to START decorating the house. Even thought we didn't do a BIG tree this year because of our 10 month old I still got a little one on the fire place, which was done end of November!


6. I will buy extra batteries BEFORE Christmas so I'm not taking out batteries out of remotes for toys. Still need to pick some up.


7. I will HIDE some sweets and treats from my boys so I actually have something when I have visitors. My husbands must have x-ray vision for sweet stuff. So this one is probably mission impossible.


8. I will not gain 10lb this holiday season. With all the chocolate I've been eating that number is probably going to be slightly higher.


9. I will write a thoughtful list of what to buy early so I don't end up getting EVERYONE gift card on Christmas eve. Gifts have been bought for most however some people just prefer gift cards....who am I to argue that.




10. I will not wrap ANY gifts on Christmas Eve. Definitely will need a few more years to wrap early but right now all signs are pointing at wrapping on Christmas Eve but hey an improvement from buying gifts on Christmas Eve.

Stolen Stroller Story

After selling my Cosco double side to side stroller and my Fisher-Price Sit and Stand travel system I down sized to a fabulous red compact easy to maneuver Quinny Zapp only a couple of weeks ago. It was a dream to push. It was light and folded so small I kept it on the floor under my sons car seat and had a EMPTY trunk for the first time since having children. Keeping it in full view on the car floor, I think, is what made me lose it. Some sorry excuse for a human has stolen my baby's stroller!

I'm pretty sure I always lock my van although half the time I've got my hands so full I probably don't. I'm not even sure if it happen at the parking lot at work or my own driveway. Either way I parked my van at the store parking lot today prepared to get the stroller out before I got the kids out and my stroller was MIA! 

The thing that upsets  me most is realizing everyday how many dishonest, bad people, who are just out there to hurt others there are. Even more believing it happens during the happy holiday season is more disturbing. I guess I will have to wait till some time after Christmas to purchase another stroller, in the mean time I hope karma bites this selfish bastard in the @ss!

A Stay At Home Mama {no more}

I'm officially a working mommy! Well part time working anyways. (I think it's time to  change the ABOUT ME  section of my blog.... I'm no longer a SAHM  *tear*)

Before I went back to work  I thought I  had no time (or sleep) for anything ...... what am I going to do now?! The decision to go back was definitely a financial one but it sure does come with a heavy load of emotions and plenty of changes. New routines and schedules.... this kind of scares me it took a very long time to establish those in the first place.... maybe because my love of spontaneity.... but the kids definitely loved those moments.  The emotional issues are tough. My husband and I strongly believe that our boys belong at home with us and not at some daycare all day long. We didn't  have children so they can be raised by strangers. They should be with us and their brothers, they will spend many years of long hours apart once they all go to school. This decision  comes with a price ..... working opposite shifts! However we will have one day together. I'm sure we'll treasure and appreciate that day a lot. The emotions aren't easy at work either ...... I'll think about the baby constantly ..... even though I know he'll be fine with his daddy just like the other two but I'm just not use to being away from him yet. It wasn't easy being on a tight mat pay, it took some real budgeting, and plenty of coupons but I'm thankful I had that time at home with my boys. Although it will be nice for me to be around adults for a change .... fingers still crossed for the lotto so I can be a SAHM of at least 5!

Cheers to many more of my lists ..... that my husband so loves ;)

Things Nobody Told Me When I Was Pregnant

Sleep Deprivation - Sure EVERYONE told you "Sleep Now While You Can" as if you could bank your sleep and withdraw some in the first few weeks as you need it. No one can prepare you for the first weeks to months with lack of sleep(yes! months which can turn into years if baby#2 will follow shortly). Sure if you're formula feeding and dear husband can help you do feedings but if you're breastfeeding .....you're @#!&$# !!!.  Unless you work ALL day to pump an extra bottle so hubby can give the baby and you can actually miss a feeding and sleep for 3 or 4 hours in a row only to wake up drenched in milk. Only when you have a baby you will actually cry because you NEED sleep. Is it a wonder sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique?

Sore Nipples - I remember reading about sore nipples when I was preggo with baby #1 .

 I soon learned that the book could of not been written by a breastfeeding mom. To me "sore" means a little rash that annoys me not HOLY &%#$, hold your breath, curl your toes, and hold on for dear life with every latch on. Cracked, painful, bleeding nipples attached to a couple of huge watermelon sized, painful to touch engorged breasts. Don't think that small and sweet baby will be gentle.... they can suck like a leach!

Time for Depends - Do you pee yourself every time you cough, sneeze or laugh while you're preggo? This continues to happen weeks after baby too.  Sure I did all those kegels but felt like running to the drug store and getting adult diapers in case I was out and someone told a funny joke.

Sex @ Six - Usually at your six week postpartum check up, the doc will ok you to resume sexual intercourse. Sure you want to {it's been 6 weeks so it would probably last no more than 5 minutes if you're lucky} but seriously you would rather spend that 5 minutes sleeping. Not to mention it's how you got into this in the first place and your body is definitely not the way it was when you were having fun conceiving.

Eat like you're in jail - Ok, I've never been in prison but I hear they eat really fast.  Your baby will follow Murphy's law and start crying before you're about to sit down to eat ANY meal! Smoothies while you're breast feeding are your best bet.

Balding? - Everyone knows you "glow" when you're pregnant. Your nails are stronger than ever and your hair is shinny and thick. It's all  those hormones that make you grow extra hair only to fall out about 3-6 months postpartum. All that extra hair you've grown will fall out in bunches. You'll be shedding for weeks. But not to worry you will grow new hair and since new hair grows from the root you will look like you've cut your bangs way too short if you're wearing your hair up. What you don't have bangs? You will.  Maybe this is why most women go short after baby.

{It can't be that bad though I did have two more babies after my first after all.  We do what we do because even if it's the hardest thing we've ever done that little baby is still the best thing thats happend!}

bitter-sweet milestones

On Wednesday I posted a video of my son Jacks 1st steps. As I watched him take his steps time stood still {at least that's what it felt like} if only for a few moments. I was such a proud mommy! So why do I feel a little sad at every milestone?

Alex is only five and I can't honestly say I would remember many  milestones when he was a baby clearly  if it wasn't for photos, videos or scrapbooks.  They reach their milestones so fast I quickly forget the previous ones. Every day something new is learned and I'm a proud mommy once again. I just wish those moments would last a little longer and make my boys stay little  longer.

Well I can't stop the clock, all I can do is enjoy my children now and hope one day I'll be sharing those captured moments with their children .... and the memories of dirty diaper, tantrums and teething  will be long and forgotten.

A Shopping Disaster

One of my first grocery trips with all three kids ended in tears ..... and I did most of the crying.  When my husband came home from work that night I asked him to go out and get me a bottle of wine. Without having to tell him, he knew, it was one of those days.

I reviewed that grocery trip in my head for days and realized it was totally my fault (here comes the mommy guilt).  I was out with the kids all day running errands trying to get everything done in one day. The kids were overtired, bored and hungry except for baby Jack who'd been sleeping in his car seat all day and by the time we got to the grocery store he'd had enough of being confined to his seat. Not to mention how tired, cranky and  frustrated I was  running around the store like a mad woman cuz that grocery list I was working on all week was left on the kitchen counter and all the coupons I searched and dug for in my purse were expired. I've had enough. The next trips to the store were like a dream. We'd go after lunch during the week, the kids would be fed and the grocery store wasn't as busy. Jack almost always slept at this time and I could easily transfer his car seat from the car onto the shopping cart without waking him up. He'd sleep till I got home. I would get my 5 year old to read over our shopping list on the way to the store and get the boys to see how many items they could remember. Getting them involved in the process made it fun for them. The boys payed attention to products on shelves and pointed out if they noticed anything from our list.  I'm not big on junk food but I would promise to buy them gum if they behaved in the store (bribing almost always works). 

Even though it's a lot easier now, store displays will get ruined, the stack of oranges will come falling down and a clean up on aisle 5 will be needed, I do have 3 boys after all.

Christmas Survival Guide

Even though I LOVE Christmas, I'm in Christmas denial every year up until a week or two into December.

Every year Christmas gets more and more stressful for me and every year I promise myself next year will be different.

Here I go again!

 

My Christmas Oath .....

1.   I will not wait till the week of Christmas to START filling out Christmas cards.

2.  I will not wait till it's so close to Christmas that I'm fighting a parent  for the LAST toy at the store my kid wants.

3.  I will get the kids to write a letter to Santa early enough to get a response BEFORE Christmas.

4. I will get the kids Christmas photo done BEFORE Christmas so I can use them for the Christmas card.

5. I will not wait till the week of Christmas to START decorating the house.

6. I will buy extra batteries BEFORE Christmas so I'm not taking out batteries out of remotes for toys

7. I will HIDE some sweets and treats from my boys so I actually have something when I have visitors

8. I will not gain 10lb this holiday season

9. I will write a  thoughtful list of what to buy early so I don't end up getting EVERYONE gift card on Christmas eve

10. I will not wrap ANY gifts on Christmas Eve

Before I Was A Mom....

                                                  
                                                                                                                    Eric


Before I was a Mom,

I never tripped over toys

or knew words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not

my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

    Jack

Before I was a Mom,

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind

and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

                                                                                                                     Alex

Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child

so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night

watching a baby sleep.

   Eric

Before I was a Mom,

I never held a sleeping baby just because

I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

                                                                                              Alex

Before I was a Mom,

I didn't know the feeling of

having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond

between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important and happy.

   Jack

Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy,

the love,

the heartache,

the wonderment

or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling

so much,  before I was a Mom.