November 14, 2009

Things Nobody Told Me When I Was Pregnant




Sleep Deprivation - Sure EVERYONE told you "Sleep Now While You Can" as if you could bank your sleep and withdraw some in the first few weeks as you need it. No one can prepare you for the first weeks to months with lack of sleep(yes! months which can turn into years if baby#2 will follow shortly). Sure if you're formula feeding and dear husband can help you do feedings but if you're breastfeeding .....you're @#!&$# !!!.  Unless you work ALL day to pump an extra bottle so hubby can give the baby and you can actually miss a feeding and sleep for 3 or 4 hours in a row only to wake up drenched in milk. Only when you have a baby you will actually cry because you NEED sleep. Is it a wonder sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique?



Sore Nipples - I remember reading about sore nipples when I was preggo with baby #1 .
 I soon learned that the book could of not been written by a breastfeeding mom. To me "sore" means a little rash that annoys me not HOLY &%#$, hold your breath, curl your toes, and hold on for dear life with every latch on. Cracked, painful, bleeding nipples attached to a couple of huge watermelon sized, painful to touch engorged breasts. Don't think that small and sweet baby will be gentle.... they can suck like a leach!



Time for Depends - Do you pee yourself every time you cough, sneeze or laugh while you're preggo? This continues to happen weeks after baby too.  Sure I did all those kegels but felt like running to the drug store and getting adult diapers in case I was out and someone told a funny joke.



Sex @ Six - Usually at your six week postpartum check up, the doc will ok you to resume sexual intercourse. Sure you want to {it's been 6 weeks so it would probably last no more than 5 minutes if you're lucky} but seriously you would rather spend that 5 minutes sleeping. Not to mention it's how you got into this in the first place and your body is definitely not the way it was when you were having fun conceiving.



Eat like you're in jail - Ok, I've never been in prison but I hear they eat really fast.  Your baby will follow Murphy's law and start crying before you're about to sit down to eat ANY meal! Smoothies while you're breast feeding are your best bet.



Balding? - Everyone knows you "glow" when you're pregnant. Your nails are stronger than ever and your hair is shinny and thick. It's all  those hormones that make you grow extra hair only to fall out about 3-6 months postpartum. All that extra hair you've grown will fall out in bunches. You'll be shedding for weeks. But not to worry you will grow new hair and since new hair grows from the root you will look like you've cut your bangs way too short if you're wearing your hair up. What you don't have bangs? You will.  Maybe this is why most women go short after baby.



{It can't be that bad though I did have two more babies after my first after all.  We do what we do because even if it's the hardest thing we've ever done that little baby is still the best thing thats happend!}

6 comments:

Mama Mary said...

The first two things KICKED MY BUTT with both my kids. Soothies gel pads were a LIFE SAVER for me and I wondered why it took 4 lactation consultants and 3 trips to the doctor for someone to finally tell me about them. Sex at Six...six months is more like it. And I'm ravenous all the time, still 17 months later and I shovel my food in so fast I don't even taste it. Great post! :-)

KarmaPearl said...

Hehe thanks for the honest tips! Too often people are afraid to tell us first-time preggos what to expect. Now I know what to gear myself up for.

That picture's adorable, by the way, hehe.

Stewart said...

All I can say is - thank God for Gina Ford...

The Mommyologist said...

This is just too funny...you are brutally honest just like me! Great blog!

Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

Dude. The balding was the worst!

Healthy Baby Cloth Diapers said...

LOL This is so funny. Though it wasn't so funny when I was in the mix of it! Though I was spared the balding, probably b/c my hair didn't grow extra thick of faster while I was pregnant! You should do one on things they didn't tell you the baby would do, since this one focuses on the mommy issues lol!!

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