December 12, 2009

A Happy Birthday?


I have been dreading this up coming week for days, weeks even years. For some reason I've put so much thought into  this milestone it has been driving me CRAZY!  I know age is just a number but  turning the big 3-0 has been an emotional roller coaster for me.

I look back when I turned 20 and what my hopes and dreams were, and where I saw myself at 30.  Having a family was at the top of my list and I couldn't be happier. A wonderful husband and three smart and beautiful sons later....most of my twenties were dedicated to them without any regrets. In fact my 20's were self-less and my family always came first even though I wanted a career instead of just having a job, I've put in on hold so I can raise my babies. I look in the mirror often searching for grey hairs and wrinkles but am more concerned about the person I have become. Maybe that is why this milestone has been so tough for me as I constantly ask myself the same question...Am I happy with the person I have become? And I am my own worst critic! I know I officially became an adult when I turned 18 but it was a much longer process than that.  I finally feel like an adult and it's not so bad....except  occasionally when tough decision have to be made, I wish I was a kid again and not have to worry about stuff like that, but becoming an adult is realizing that making tough decisions is exactly what being an adult is about.

It took till now to figure out who I am and what I want from life and as long as I have that figured out I'm comfortable about starting another decade of my life. I think my 20's where harder that my 30's will be and I'm looking forward to new adventures and hopefully a little more stability in life.  I hear 30's are the new 20's (even though only older people say that) I'll give believing it a try. Cheers!

6 comments:

KarmaPearl said...

I think 30 IS the new 20! I hope you had (or have had, if I missed it) a happy birthday! I remember for me turning 20 was a big eye opener. I couldn't believe 20 years of my life had passed me by already.

MommyB said...

I just missed it ;) Hope you had a great birthday. I turned 30 on the 6th of this month, although being pregnant I think it sort of didn't count. How about we celebrate 30 again next year ;)

Michelle said...

Happy birthday! I remember freaking out when I turned 30 but I've had the most amazing time through my 30's finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.
I hope you enjoy this decade :)

Fanda said...

First, hope you (still) have a happy birthday! To my own experience, 30s is much better than 20s. I felt more mature, and many people said I looked more beautiful than ever!

Out-Numbered said...

Screw that. I just turned 39 and I feel like shit. If I could spend my next Birthday in bed, I would... You look fabulous though.

Marlo Boux said...

I had a harder time with 29 for some reason. But hey, now I'm 35 and have just decided to rock each year the BEST way I can...my 30s have gotten better every year! Cheers.

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